Thursday, February 2, 2012

Commentary: Seven Lies about Homeschoolers

On January 16, 2012, YouTube user Blimey Cow released a video that received a lot of circulation around Facebook and people I know. And by a lot, I mean a lot. You can check it out below.

I thought it was hilarious. As many of you know, I was homeschooled through eighth grade and now attend a private high school, uncoincidentally founded by my mother. The video is full of great (and quite true) points, but I thought I would give a few points of my own. Here is my take on Blimey Cow's "Seven Lies about Homeschoolers."

7. Homeschoolers are really sheltered.

I actually was really sheltered when I was younger: I hadn't even heard of 9/11 until a few years ago. When I found out, I reacted, "What!? Why didn't anybody tell me about it?" It turns out that, apparently, I was told, but that was a decade ago. I just wasn't ever told again, until I found out myself just a few years ago. But for his point about Lady Gaga... I hadn't heard of her until just a year or two ago, and I regret doing so.

The coolest latest movies? I know more about upcoming movies than probably eighty percent of the entire United States of America! I do research and find things years before they come out. I knew about The Hobbit movies half a decade ago, even though they started filming only a year ago, whereas many people still don't yet know it exists. I have loads of information about upcoming movies and film adaptations that most people don't know have even thought up yet. If someone were to think that because I was homeschooled and later private schooled I didn't know about the coolest latest movies, they've lost my respect and will never get it back.

Hmm... I was pulverized by the real world. Actually no, not a real world. It's called the internet. I was an innocent, partially sheltered child when I first stumbled onto a certain internet forum. It wasn't like others I had been to: this one was crawling with trolls. That changed me. Over the course of three years, that really did change me.

I say I was sheltered, but actually, I know many other people who have been far more sheltered than me. That mock example shown in the video? Unfortunately, I've known people like that. Their parents shouldn't even call themselves parents. But if you think all homeschoolers are like that, do more research.

6. All homeschoolers go to church 7 days a week.

Oh, shoot, I only go once a week. Is that a bad thing? Does that mean I lied about being homeschooled? Thankfully, I don't know anybody like the weirdo in the example given, but I know they're out there. Actually, I have heard of that guy's church denomination. It's called a psychiatric hospital.

That's another thing: people seem to think of all homeschoolers as Bible thumpers. I just have to say that is utterly ridiculous. Many are, but many more are not,

5. Homeschoolers don't actually do school.

My school is easier now in private school—a place where former public school students comment that the work is hard—than it was my eighth grade year of homeschooling. It's true that my private school is much more organized, and the teachers do everything in their power to make it easier for you, while still forcing you to learn things, but homeschooling was pretty dang hard. The upside to that? I got an actual education, unlike most public school attendees I know.

Trust me, homeschoolers do school, and we do a lot of it. And it's a lot more fun than public school, according to almost every public-schooler-turned-homeschooler I've ever met. I know far too many public schoolers who do almost no school. Why? Because they don't really care. For a homeschooler or a private schooler, people confront you when you have bad grades and force you to do better. Sometimes at my school, if somebody's grades are too low in a subject, they need to stay at school afterward and work with a teacher until they have learned or studied enough.

4. It's impossible for homeschoolers to have friends.

I actually didn't have that many friends during my homeschooling years, and it depressed me. But my problem wasn't that I couldn't have friends, it was that I couldn't stand other kids my age. For some reason, people in my grade have always, throughout my entire life, been annoying and stupid. No offense to any public-schooled ninth and tenth graders reading this; I was making a generalization that (hopefully, though maybe not, depending on who you are) does not apply to you.

I used to live in a log cabin, actually. Well, a house that years and years and years ago was built up around a log cabin. It was the closest you could get to the wilderness around here, since it was on the property of a summer camp that had miles of trails through the woods and fields. But no, it wasn't an hour away from Walmart. More like ten minutes.

3. Homeschoolers are really shy.

This is true for me, but not for pretty much any other homeschooler I have ever met. What scares me is that the example given actually brings back memories. Whoops, did I say that?

As you can probably figure out, I have changed much since then. ;)

2. Homeschoolers have no lives.

This one actually made me laugh my head off. I had to stumble around blindly until I found it again and could put it back on my torso. It wasn't that hard, because I was still laughing, so I just followed the sound of the laughter.

I used to get up before everyone else and go outside for an hour or so. To get to school ever day, there's no bus: you get out of bed and walk down the stairs. You get your work done in the early morning and have the entire rest of the day to do whatever you want. If you're bored and want to take a quick break from school, go outside and climb a tree or something. You can have other homeschoolers come over to your house and do your work together; that way you're getting your needed education and hanging out with your best friend at the same time!

Many times I have come across people who think homeschoolers have no lives. I used to get angry at them, but in the future I think I'll just laugh at them. The concept is hilarious, after all. :)

1. Homeschoolers do school in their pajamas.

"But this isn't so much a lie as it is... a reality. It is the very, very, very best thing about being homeschooled."

I completely agree with that statement, but why then list it as one of seven lies about homeschoolers? That's an inconsistency there, Blimey Cow. But regardless, it's true, and it's awesome.

In Conclusion...

Homeschoolers probably aren't what you think. In fact, I know more smart people who were homeschooled than smart people who were public schooled.

You may have noticed from this article I have a grudge against public schoolers. Do you wonder why this is? No reason. Just the fact that most I've met have very perverted minds and don't care if what they say is offensive to anybody. They're often terribly educated, and far too many times I've found myself gaping at their pathetic attempts to spell or at the utter stupidity in their logic.

I'm not trying to say that all public schoolers are like that, or even that most are. It might be true, but I know there are many people out there who would be offended if I said so. I certainly don't believe any such thing. As a matter of fact, some of my best friends are public schooled. One such friend likes making fun of other people in his grade because, as people who hang around him can easily deduce, he has the IQ of somebody many years older than he is. I'm thinking that might be due to the fact that he was homeschooled for several years.

Anyway, thanks for reading my article. I put a good three hours into it, and I hope you got something from it.


  1. great post, Reuben! Speak the truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God...

  2. I found #4 especially hilarious, because as a kid, I went to public school and my best (and pretty much only) friend was a home schooler. I still hang out with mostly home schoolers. Lol