Complacency vs. Disability

Who am I?

What is my place?

I want to help.
I don’t know how.

Black lives matter,

because all lives matter.

Do I stay silent and let

more qualified people talk?

Is my silence harmful?

I need to educate myself
on my lingering ignorance.
There is a lot.
But I don’t know how.

It’s not easy.
Simple does not equal easy.
I’m disabled.

My personal cognitive issues don’t compare to the systemic oppression of so many others.
But I feel like my disability is often overlooked or ignored,
or not believed,
and used as a weapon against me.

I’m not lazy.
I’m disabled.
I want to educate myself.
I want to research what I need to know.
But I don’t know how.

I know how physically.
I don’t know how mentally.

I used to wonder about slavery. About the Civil Rights movement.
If I were alive then, would I choose the moral, the righteous side,
or remain complacent and just watch history as it happened?

I’m a very complacent person.
I’m used to not being able to affect things.
I’m used to not taking sides.

Often, taking manufactured sides is evil.
Politics, religion, any damn disagreement.
The Us vs. Them mentality is pure evil.

But racism.
Racism is pure evil.
Fuck racism.
I want to be on the right side of history.
But I,

I don’t know how.
I don’t know what to do.

It’s not my place to speak out.
It’s not my place to be quiet.

The things I think I can do,

I can’t.

Disability.
It’s a descriptor, not a crutch.

Black lives matter,
because all lives matter.

This is a truth.

Systemic racism is real.
Systemic racism is alive.
Systemic racism is evil.

Systemic racism is raging.

Systemic racism needs to die.
I want to see it die.
Humanity needs to see it die.

I want to help.
I don’t want to be complacent.
I want to protest.
I want to make a difference.

But I just,
I don’t know how.